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The Sheet was founded in May, 2003 by Jack Lunch. The following essay appeared in the very first issue.
This is not your father's newspaper. It's Jack Lunch's.
For those of you who don't know Lunch, he's got years and years of experience on the Serengeti, and once navigated a paddle boat clear across the pond in Boston Common.
He's also washed dishes for the King of Norway, and in his youth could chug a pint of beer in under five seconds.
In short, he's a man who defies categorization, even though he's tall.
The Sheet was not Lunch's idea. It was actually George Shirk's. But as most great ideas are stolen, Lunch felt little compunction but to appropriate it for his own, and quickly called me [Ted Carleton] out of a self-imposed Bishop exile to come to Mammoth and do the dirty work.
When a statesman like Lunch beckons, one does not hesitate.
The dirty work involved corralling advertisers into supporting this quixotic (if you don't know this word, ask Lynn Carpenter) venture, and without them, this venture would not be a venture but a blurry vision, in which case, you could not read the paper anyway.
So I urge you to not only read the text of this paper, but read the ads as well, and go out and max out your credit cards on behalf of these fine businesses.
Now I know that traditionally there's supposed to be an imaginary wall separating the editorial and advertising departments of a newspaper, but as I am head of both departments, it is literally impossible to cleanly split the two.
My split personality complicates matters.
The mission of this paper, like its founder and publisher John Domesick Lunch III, is to defy categorization. There is no hidden agenda, because there is no agenda, so there's nothing to hide. No, the goal of this paper is to enlighten and entertain its readership, to speak the truth, and to make sure that you, dear reader, are flossing regularly.
If you have deeper interest in The Sheet, please feel free to contact Mr. Lunch directly via email at jacklunch@yahoo.com.
Thanks for your continued support!
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Keith's Web-Stuff.org